Veteran in Training
by VR7
Summary: Sadly, a player whom was being retrained from the start already knew everything about Counterstrike!


=====  
  
Half-Life: Counterstrike - Veteran in Training  
  
By: Trowa Barton, aka VR7  
  
Note: These characters can die all they want. This isn't reality, they're just playing a video game. Except for near the ending... =)  
  
Another Note: Please forgive the Gundam Wing bashing, their character makes them really fun to use. And I am Trowa Barton, of course. =P  
  
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SNIPER TRAINING  
  
=====  
  
* Two CTs are standing on a nice hiding spot. One is Trowa (VR7), the other is Julie-Su, that cute little pink echidna from the Dark Legion.  
  
Julie-Su: *grumbling* "Stupid newbie instructor..."  
  
Trowa: "To be a good sniper, you must be silent."  
  
Trowa: "You must not be seen."  
  
Trowa: "You must keep a low profile."  
  
Trowa: "And you must try not to--"  
  
* Trowa is killed by an enemy sniper.  
  
Julie-Su: "...."  
  
Julie-Su: "Great."  
  
=====  
  
Cats: "How are you gentlemen !!"  
  
Julie-Su: "Huh?"  
  
Julie-Su: "I'm a woman."  
  
Cats: "Move 'Sig'!!" *Steals Julie's Sig 2550*  
  
Julie-Su: "Hey!"  
  
* Cats targets all the terrorists flawlessly until one is left.  
  
Random Terrorist: "Who is this?! And WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR HAND?!!"  
  
Cats: "You know what I doing."  
  
Cats: "I take off every 'Sig'."  
  
* Cats kills the last one.  
  
Julie-Su: *Sarcastically* "For great justice."  
  
=====  
  
ASSASSINATION  
  
=====  
  
Trowa: "Okay, Julie, here's how we'll do this."  
  
Trowa: "We'll both play the CT, and Duo will play the VIP."  
  
Julie-Su: "Good for him."  
  
Duo: "Hey, shut up!"  
  
Heero: "No, you shut up."  
  
Duo: "...."  
  
Trowa: "Okay, since Duo is the weakest player on the team..."  
  
Duo: "I'm not weak!"  
  
Julie-Su: "Shut up, Duo!"  
  
Heero: "Even Julie-Su is a thousand times stronger than you, Duo. Now do what she says, and shut up."  
  
Duo: "...."  
  
Trowa: "*ahem* Anyways, he will run to the VIP escape zone. Your job is to keep him alive until he gets to the escape zone."  
  
Julie-Su: "So then can I kill him after?"  
  
Trowa: "Not when he disappears in a puff of smoke."  
  
Duo: "HAH! You can't get me, 'cause I'm the God of Death!"  
  
Heero: "Do you speak English?"  
  
Duo: "Yeah...?"  
  
Heero: "Then what part of 'Shut Up' do you not understand?"  
  
Duo: "...."  
  
Trowa: "My guess is that you hate him for looking up your skirt?"  
  
Author's Note: Please check some of the concept art for Sonic the Hedgehog: Dimension Z. Look at some of the alternate character designs of Julie-Su, and you'll understand.  
  
Julie-Su: *angry* "I'LL KILL HIM FOR THAT!"  
  
=====  
  
* During the battle, Duo rages into the firefights, trying to use his USP in the mad suicide run.  
  
Duo: "Watch out! Cause the God of Death is back from--"  
  
* Duo is cut off as he suffers a fatal head shot from enemy fire, leading to his death.  
  
"Terrorists Win!"  
  
Julie-Su: "Idiot!"  
  
Heero: "Don't worry. At least, he deserved it."  
  
Trowa: "I should've also noted that he can only carry a USP and Knife, and can't buy anything. Plus, he can't steal guns."  
  
=====  
  
DEMOLITION  
  
=====  
  
Heero: "Where's the C4?"  
  
Trowa: "Julie has it."  
  
Heero: "Damn."  
  
Julie-Su: "Lemme guess... The bomb?"  
  
Trowa: "We'll play Terrorists for this occasion."  
  
Julie-Su: "No duh..."  
  
Trowa: "On the terrorist's team, one member has the bomb. That player's goal is to set the bomb up in the location the map states it should be placed, then he either gets out or defends the bomb."  
  
Julie-Su: "So I just run when I plant it."  
  
Trowa: "If the CTs get the chance to diffuse the bomb, we lose."  
  
Julie-Su: "Okay, what if I stay then? Get fragged by random CTs?"  
  
Trowa: "If you can kill the CTs before they even get near the bomb, we'll win."  
  
Heero: "I have an idea. Press the tilde key and type kill, and I'll help you carry the bomb to our destination."  
  
Julie-Su: "Shut up Heero."  
  
Julie-Su: "Like I'm that stupid."  
  
=====  
  
* Julie sets up the bomb and runs away. Quatre, Cats and Duo appear on the scene.  
  
Cats: "Somebody set up us the bomb."  
  
Duo: "What?! Where?!"  
  
Quatre: "There, Duo!"  
  
* They see the bomb...  
  
Duo: "Oh man. Heero set it up?"  
  
Quatre: "Possibly. But we've got to diffuse it before it destroys the city!"  
  
* They try to figure out a way, and forget how to USE!  
  
Quatre: "I can't diffuse the bomb!"  
  
Cats: "What you say !!"  
  
Cats: "I will set down us the bomb."  
  
* Cats tries to get past Duo to reach the bomb.  
  
Cats: "Out my way !!"  
  
Duo: "Guess I'll need my pal Deathscythe on this little--"  
  
* KABOOM *  
  
"Terrorists Win!"  
  
Trowa: "Try the use key?"  
  
Heero: "You were supposed to DiffUSE the bomb."  
  
*DEAD* Quatre: "Sorry..."  
  
Trowa: "Also, Gundams don't operate in video games."  
  
*DEAD* Duo: "Damn!"  
  
*DEAD* Cats: "HA HA HA HA ... Idoit."  
  
Julie-Su: "Tee hee." *Grins*  
  
=====  
  
* Second time Julie sets up the C4, she gets caught by Duo and the others. And Wufei also joins the fray. Duo and Julie-Su point guns at each other (In which Julie aims her ultra-good Desert Eagle (My favorite pistol, actually), while Duo aims the ultra-crappy Five-Seven), Quatre points his P90 at Julie, Cats points his AWP, and Wufei... He just takes the knife out.  
  
Duo & Julie-Su: *At each other* "You again!"  
  
Cats: "It's you !!"  
  
Wufei: "You've been telling me a woman's been setting up the bomb?!" *Laughs hard* "You three are weaklings!"  
  
Duo: "Of course not! We thought it was Heero!"  
  
Wufei: "Shut up, Duo."  
  
Duo: "...."  
  
Quatre: "Put down your weapon Julie, and I will spare your life."  
  
Julie-Su: "Huh???" *Sweatdrops*  
  
Julie-Su: "Do you really know how to play CS?"  
  
Cats: "Yes... For great justice." * Kills Julie *  
  
Quatre: "That was completely unneccessary!"  
  
Duo: "Yeah! Knuckles is gonna be so mad!"  
  
*DEAD* Julie-Su: "Like I am really dead..."  
  
*DEAD* Julie-Su: "And like Knuckles is gonna care if I lose my head in a video game!"  
  
Cats: "That how we play CS !"  
  
Cats: "We win by kill enemy team !!"  
  
Quatre: "Wufei?"  
  
Wufei: "Yeah?"  
  
Quatre: "Can you diffuse the bomb?"  
  
*DEAD* Julie-Su: "To do this, press the 'USE' key when you go up to the bomb."  
  
Wufei: "Hah, that's just too easy." *Walks to the bomb* "Ummm... How?"  
  
* Quatre and Duo scream real loud, until the C4 blows up.  
  
*DEAD* Julie-Su: "Damn it! I just said the 'USE' key!"  
  
*DEAD* Julie-Su: "Well, at least I got revenge on Duo."  
  
*DEAD* Duo: "...."  
  
=====  
  
VEHICLE DRIVING  
  
=====  
  
* We're playing on a known map, cs_siege. Everyone's playing CTs, cause firefights would be useless in this exercise.  
  
Trowa: "Okay, now we'll learn..."  
  
Julie-Su: "To drive."  
  
Trowa: "Umm. And here we have..."  
  
Julie-Su: "A platoon tank."  
  
Trowa: "And please stop..."  
  
Julie-Su: "Finishing other peoples' sentences. Blah blah blah. Can we get this over with??"  
  
Trowa: "Alright. You can drive this thing?"  
  
Julie-Su: "Yeah."  
  
Duo: "Let me try first! I can pilot Deathscythe!"  
  
Heero: "Shut up, Duo."  
  
Trowa: "Alright, then. Let's let him in now."  
  
Heero: "...."  
  
Heero: "Fine." *Grins evilly*  
  
Duo: "YEAH! I GET TO DRIVE!"  
  
Quatre: "Trowa? Are you insane? He's a maniac in Deathscythe!"  
  
Quatre: "He can't even drive this thing without getting at least one of us hurt!"  
  
Trowa: "Of course."  
  
Wufei: *snicker* "This I gotta see..."  
  
Julie-Su: "Heh..."  
  
* Duo tries to drive, but he runs into the walls every time, and eventually, he drives backwards.  
  
Wufei: "No! Duo you idiot!"  
  
Quatre: "Duo! Stop!"  
  
Heero: "...."  
  
Trowa: "...."  
  
Julie-Su: "...."  
  
* Duo crashes into the rest of the CTs, killing them. But Heero, Trowa and Julie jump into the transport bay.  
  
Trowa: "Next time, expect that from the 'God of Death'."  
  
Heero: "That was why we never let Duo drive on our last trip to the Sanc Kingdom."  
  
Julie-Su: "I still think that was funny."  
  
=====  
  
* Julie jumps into the top of the tank. The others get into the transport bay. Julie starts driving, and Duo presses space for no reason, and falls out.  
  
Quatre: "DUO!"  
  
Trowa: "Don't worry about him."  
  
Quatre: "What are you saying??"  
  
Trowa: "Typical newbie behaviour."  
  
Quatre: "Newbie? What do you mean?"  
  
Trowa: "He pressed a key that made him jump out of the tank."  
  
Wufei: *Bursts in laughter* "Are newbies that weak?!"  
  
Trowa: "No, but they aren't that smart."  
  
=====  
  
FINAL RESULTS  
  
=====  
  
* Back to the real world, in the Black Mesa Research Facility.  
  
Trowa: "Hmmm..."  
  
Gordon Freeman: "Gunner skills 100%, Leadership 100%, Movement 100%, Target skills 100%, Espionage skills 100%..."  
  
Gordon Freeman: "You just trained her to be just as good as I am in CS, huh?"  
  
Trowa: "No..."  
  
Generic Black Mesa Scientist: "These test results are very exceptional, you know..."  
  
Barney the Generic Security Guard: "God, I don't think Gordon's gonna survive against her ina one-on-one round! You're a heck of an instructor!"  
  
Barney the Dinosaur: "Ho ho ho! Will you be my best friend?"  
  
Barney the Generic Security Guard: "No. Now get outta here before I slap a pellet into your head!"  
  
Trowa: "I'm not a good instructor."  
  
Julie-Su: "Okay, let me put it this way..."  
  
Julie-Su: "YOU'VE FRICKIN' BEEN FRICKIN' TRYING FRICKIN' TO FRICKIN' TRAIN FRICKIN' SOMEBODY FRICKIN' WHO FRICKIN' ALREADY FRICKIN' KNOWS FRICKIN' HOW FRICKIN' TO FRICKIN' PLAY FRICKIN' COUNTERSTRIKE!! AND FRICKIN' THAT FRICKIN' SOMEBODY FRICKIN' IS FRICKIN' ME!!!!"  
  
Neo: "Whoa."  
  
Morpheus: "What?"  
  
Neo: "Did she take the blue pill?"  
  
Morpheus: "No, why?"  
  
Neo: "The Blue pill is really a Viagara pill!"  
  
Morpheus: "...."  
  
Morpheus: "So it is..."  
  
Knuckles: "Viagara pills??"  
  
Trowa: "Have you ever had the curiousity of what would happen if Julie took a Viagara pill?"  
  
* Knuckles and Julie get mad, as well as start blushing.  
  
Quatre: "I did. But--"  
  
* Julie's face turns the colour of Knux's fur, and gives Quatre a kick square in the face, sending 'im unconscious.  
  
Master Yoda: "Drugs not good, they are, hmm?"  
  
Trowa: "Right."  
  
Trowa: "Anyways, if you're looking for revenge on Duo, he's standing right there." *Points at Duo, whom is reading the Black Mesa stuff on some wall*  
  
Julie-Su: "Thanks." *Pulls out her Blaster, looks at it for a while, throws it away, and takes out a Desert Eagle*  
  
Knuckles: "WHOA! That's an overlander's pistol!"  
  
Heero: "Looks like she plays more CS than we do, Trowa."  
  
Julie-Su: *Charging at Duo* "OMAE O KOROSU!!"  
  
Duo: "WHA--?!"  
  
* Duo is now on the way to destruction. Looks like he had no chance to survive make his time.  
  
END 


End file.
